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March 28 maybe i'll just skip it.if there's one thing i hate today, it is the unknown.
like where i can live and work and what my desk looks like and how i am going to afford groceries this week [i'm not] and who's paying for school and my boss' name and whether or not i will see the new adam sandler & don cheadle movie tonight and if my roommate will ever take out the recycling or if i will have to do it always and what to paint and what to draw and who to write about and if you'll just enjoy me for once and where my family is moving away to.
i'm the opposite of in the mood for questions.
i am so going to get myself sick and obese from dad's goodie rings.
i'm actually considering making that a goal for myself today.
illness and fatness. the finer things.
sometimes good's better than bad.
sometimes you're better than me. March 26 [born upside-down]my town smoulders, boils and blisters.
[fresh air is all i need.]
AND, i registered for next semester's collection of classes.
have a look:
1) printmaking 2 - intaglio
2) drawing 2 - the body (figure drawing)
3) art history - 1945 to 1970
4) intro to women's studies - knowing bodies: an owner's manual (worst course title ever)
5) intro to religious studies - world religions
not too bad, if i do say so myself. although thursdays are going to be the worst days of my life, with classes non-stop from 9:25am - 4:30pm and then 6:00pm - 8:50pm. boo.
[man, you look like hell.] March 24 julie, baby, you're my flame.it's nice when things work out for people you like. they are all stressed and worried and wrinkly-foreheads and then excited and relieved and ready for the next thing. i like that.
what a lovely way to burn. March 21 i won't tell a soul you told.waiting for my papers in the mail.
waiting for the dishes to dry.
waiting for my roommate to stop hating everyone.
waiting for the studio to be empty.
waiting for melissa to get back.
waiting for farewell orders.
waiting for myself.
i hate waiting for myself.
March 18 you have seen some unbelievable things.oh, how time flies with crystal clear eyes.
the final day of my still-not-as-meager-as-a-third-world diet has been rather awful. i'm cheery but beat. i haven't been this tired since i got food poisoning and made melissa watch me vomit in the ER waiting room. that was a really unpleasant adventure.
in other news, my apartment is so chilly, you have no idea. i think they turned the heat off in my building. i have adjusted the thermostat to no avail and i am beginning to lose hope of ever being cozy again. the good news is that the low temperature makes me really appreciative of my comfortable hoodie. mmm.
well, painting i go. March 17 i only serve those who know the secret password to get in
i am very bored of melting crayons and being inside. and i'm bored of my messy room. and rice. and... not feeling like fun.
i don't want adventure, i just want icecream.
March 14 i'd have 'em if you'd support 'em.day three was a lot better than day two. by the end of day three, i was actually enjoying my beans and my rice. i've been pretty tired though, and i'll catch myself thinking about food without realizing it. that's pretty ridiculous.
March 13 [how you're] making outday two - got really hungry, ate some rice n beans, vomitted promptly. i guess my body is not used to eating so much...boring, sugarless, fatless, colourless...sticky stuff. my tummy feels like it has a lot of gunk in it. anyway, i remember once again how terribly spoiled i am and carry on.
although i was having dreams about dried blood and sugary foods this morning. bad sign?
oh and i also finished my drawing in record time and am feeling pretty good about it. it's kinda nice, afterall.
i love myself today. March 12 my shirt has flowers on it.day one of my rice 'n' beans diet and very few things would make me happier than a really tall glass of apple-pineapple-banana joose right about now. i am so plagued by sugar cravings. this is very strong evidence that i am a weak, weak individual.
mm, or chocolate milk. or regular milk.
well, i guess i have to learn discipline some time. i may as well start today.
i'm in the mood for a road trip, everyone. any takers? March 11 [pale for a white girl]no matter how many times my mom reminds me, there is no way i will remember to change my clocks for daylight savings time. there is just no way.
as a result of this impossibility, church happened without me [this has been too common an occurrance lately] and i had a really delicious brunch. and now i am thinking about my messy hair and wondering how long i can put off going to the stooodeeohhh.
i think a really great career for me to look into would be writing people's diaries. they could pay me by the hour or maybe by the word and i could write all about their thoughts and lives and feelings and what they ate for breakfast. most people don't feel they have the time to keep track of these things and a lot of people have insecurity issues with the messiness of their own handwriting. this would solve both problems and give me a steady income, since i would insist on daily entries i think.
if you would be interested in my services, please contact me. cash only.
yeah okay time to go. March 09 another social casualty[score one more for me]
it's funny how you can hear songs and they will make you feel nostalgic for a time that really wasn't any fun at all.
oh, grade ten, how awful you were.
don't believe me when i say i've got it down.
in other news, yesterday was the most beautiful string of good things. i was so fortunate to spend time with [in person or via my telephone] a whole collection of really great people. so, cool.
March 07 why'd you sing with me at all?polycystic ovarian syndrome, eh?
hopefully i don't get fat and diabetic and grow a beard. although i think i'd be pretty good at that, if someone has to do it.
i looked at these diagrams of normal ovaries and then at diagrams of the many-cystic ones, and it was so disgusting i'll probably have nightmares. i think i inherited mo's terror of circles and holes and spaces. it'll go really nicely with my artery-phobia.
bloody hair in the opera and now excessive male hormone levels. gee whiz, laura, you are at your prime. i'll be fighting those men off with every kind of blunt object, just you wait.
in other news, i am having a major studio slump right now. i have problems in my head, but no solutions.
i wonder if i have the energy or time to work for them. March 05 you could have it so much betterfeeling weird and moody, but maybe not in exactly a bad way.
she said, "i know what it's like to be dead.
i know what it is to be sad."
and she's making me feel like i've never been born.
lots of things about my life are really really easy. so why is it that i feel as though it is so much work?
maybe i'm just lazy.
March 04 winter figpeople are funny things.
next week we're going on a diet of rice and beans and water [and only rice and beans and water] to raise money for people who are forced to live on much less. if you want more info or would like to send us some funds, drop me a liiiiiine.
March 02 teen angel, can you see me?
oh, everything about naps is good. |
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